This is part 2 of 2 in my series of posts to conclude 2020. Check out part 1 for the first 10 things I learnt in 2020.

11. When you hear other people’s thoughts, they are actually still your own.

You may have heard of people saying not to take things too personally. For instance, if others say hurtful things to you, it is because of who they are, not because of who you are. Hence, one way to look at someone’s behaviour is to see it as a reflection of their pain and suffering.

There is also another way to look at this. If you are listening to someone speak, you are trying to find out what they are thinking in that moment. You can never hear their thoughts though, only your own. Therefore, you can choose however way you want to interpret their words. If you are angry or frustrated at someone, it might be because you are judging that part of yourself.

12. You don’t need to put so much pressure on yourself to perform at your best all the time.

Like flowers, you don’t need to ‘bloom’ all year round. There will be days where you are at your peak performance, and other days where you just need time to recharge and rest.

13. The only Time that exists is the present

I started to understand this concept of time after reading the book, A Happy Pocket Full of Money by David Cameron Gikandi. The author says that if you are thinking about the past, you are still having thoughts now but you are reminiscing the memory from before. If you are projecting the future, you are still having thoughts and living in the now. There is no other time that exists except for the present moment. One of my friends also said a quote that I resonated with a lot.

“Tomorrow does not exist. There is only now.”

James Clavell

14. Pain is inevitable but suffering is a decision.

Your brain is trained to avoid discomfort as much as possible. But, going through discomfort is what makes you grow. You can either think of the pain as excruciating and unbearable, fun and enjoyable, or just as it is. Which would you choose?

15. Being there and listening to someone is enough.

Even if you can’t think of any helpful replies or advice to say, just being fully present for the person can make a huge difference.

16. Ideas Come When You Are Clear

When you know what is important to you, opportunities will start to present themselves to you. For instance, when I was very clear that I wanted to do an internship in the summer holidays, I made choices that increased my chances of obtaining it. I tried various ways and persisted until I got one that was aligned with me.

In this case, having clarity around where you want to be will make things easier for you to see opportunities. It will also help you make decisions more easily because you can evaluate whether the decision would bring you closer or away from your goal.

When you are very clear about your priorities, you don’t have drama around making decisions that are aligned with it.

17. Instead of thinking that you “should” be doing something, look for reasons why you want it.

Do things because you want to do it, not because you expect something out of it, or you do not have any other choice. (You always have choices. No one can force you to do anything.)

When you have a strong desire to do something, you tend to see it through to its completion. It would also be easier to find ways to make it fun and enjoyable.

If you can’t convince yourself of a reason why you want to do it, don’t do it. It’s easier and simpler than you think.

18. There are no wrong decisions.

Acknowledge that you are afraid of the uncertainty that comes with making decisions that have unknown outcomes. It is perfectly fine and normal to feel this way.

Remember that in each path you choose, there is always a lesson for you. There are no wrong turns or mistakes, only lessons.

19. You did not waste time or miss any opportunities.

As with any decision you make, there is no ‘wrong way’ to spend time. For instance, whether you choose to spend the next hour studying, chatting with your friends, or sleeping, you did not ‘waste’ time. You just had to go through certain struggles and revelations in your own way.

I also often feel a sense of FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) and think that I may not have another chance at it if I don’t go for it. If it is a “Heck yes!”, then go for it! If you are only choosing it because you are afraid that it would not come again and scared that you will ‘lose out’, re-consider it carefully.

You were meant to meet specific people, experience certain situations and learn from them. You were and still are healing and growing. You are on the right path.

20. Learning and gaining knowledge is one thing. Applying it into your life is another.

Discovering new things is the fun part. Taking action to implement what you’ve learnt may not be as fun – at least in the beginning.

It is not about the number of books you read, but the amount of information you have implemented into your life that will create lasting change.

Many of these revelations were because of my mentors and I couldn’t have grown this much without them. What is the biggest thing you learnt in 2020? If you need some help in planning for the new school year, feel free to use my journal prompts as a guide to make it your best year yet.