It is very common for friends to drift apart for a variety of reasons. It could range from not sharing a common interest to undergoing life changes. After some time has passed, it may feel like your friend may have forgotten about you. Perhaps they may have been thinking about you, but they are too awkward to initiate a conversation with you. If you are thinking of rekindling your friendships, here are 6 practical ways you can put into action right now. 

1. Revive ‘Dead’ Chats

You know that group chat which was last active 6 months ago? How about that last birthday message you sent to a friend months ago? Revive these chats by sharing things you’ve discovered. You could share a funny meme, an inspirational quote or a picture that reminded you of them. They will feel that you did not forget about them and it helps them to remember you as well.

2. Respond to Their Social Media Posts

If you follow them on social media, you can ‘comment’ or ‘DM’ your reaction to their most recent post or story. This helps to get conversations going.

3. Make Hanging Out a Regular Thing

Just like how you would schedule regular appointments with your dentist (I hope), you can create a new ‘routine’. For instance, you could go out together every school term break, or meet up every New Year’s Day. This way, it is easier for both parties to make time for each other, (and saves the hassle of having to find a common time.) It’s almost like you’re creating a new tradition!

4. Go To an Event Together

You and your friends can check out the latest events that are happening around the island, and create special moments to look back on. For instance, the SG Bicentennial Experience or i Light Singapore pop-up events are great ways to bond with one another without breaking the bank. I follow telegram channels like DateIdeas Singapore and Singapore Events and Places – sgWhereTo to stay updated and give me inspiration for my next outing.

5. Set a Date

Send them a text or if you’re brave enough, give them a call. Don’t worry too much about how you sound. Set a date within the next 2 weeks to chat in person – it could be to catch up over a meal, even if it’s just for an hour. It can also be an excuse to use that 1-for-1 student promotion or check out that new café in town!

6. Be There For Them

Sometimes, having empathy and understanding for them can go a long way. Life happens and they might be going through huge adjustments and adapting to changes in their lives. Check in on them and just being there for them is good enough.

Re-evaluate Your Purpose

What is your reason for wanting to reconnect with them? Are you genuinely curious about how they are doing or are you just seeking companionship?

Prioritising Friendships

It’s really about prioritising. There will always not be a ‘perfect time’ to hang out. So unless both sides make the effort to free up time for each other, it will be difficult to maintain the friendship in the long run.

If they are still unable to make time for you, maybe it is time to evaluate if they are the right people to be with. As Jim Rohn famously said, “you are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with“. It is great to spend your time and energy with others who make you feel cherished and uplifted, not with those who make you feel discouraged or stressed out.

Don’t be afraid to let go of a few friendships if it is too draining for you. After all, it is better to have quality over quantity.

Acceptance

As time quietly passes by, we are left to wonder why our friends who have been so close to us previously, have now become just social media acquaintances. I fondly recall the memories I had with my friends when I was growing up.  Call me nostalgic but I do miss the good ‘ol days when I used to go to the nearby bubble tea shop with my friends after school as well as attend tuition together during my primary and secondary school days! Sadly, I have only stayed in touch with a few of them as we went on to different schools. But who knows, one day we might meet again and reminisce about those times. For now, I will remember the sweet memories I had with them and be inspired to create new ones with the friends I have now.

Reconnecting with someone can be random, awkward and even nerve-wrecking. However, most of the time, it doesn’t hurt to drop a text to let a friend know that you’re there for them. Usually, we are the ones that are judgemental about ourselves, not them.

Do you have a longtime friendship? How do you maintain and actively engage with each other? I’d love to know your story.